We have stayed in almost a dozen different homes since beginning our trip on November 1st. I’ve been overwhelmed in a good way by the gift of hospitality we have experienced. I don’t know why it has surprised me so much. Maybe because I just assumed that people would feel obligated to host us and were kind of “putting up with us” instead of enjoying it. Thankfully, quite the opposite has been the case. I’ve felt almost every person we’ve stayed with has been genuinely thrilled by our company. Not only that, they have gone to great lengths to make sure we have felt cared for.
Here are some examples that come to mind.
Colored Towels – One of our hosts called ahead and asked specific questions like whether we liked mushrooms and green peppers. This same host was so detailed in her questions that she even asked each of us to pick out the color of bath towel we liked best.
Spontaneous Invitations – On our first Sunday in Macon, GA we were staying at an airbnb and decided to visit a local church. We didn’t know anyone and were surprised when the couple sitting in front of us introduced themselves and asked for our phone number. Later that day, I got a text from them asking us over to their house for dessert. It was such a pure and genuine invitation and so unexpected. We ended up having a great conversation which led to my coming back to their house several times to teach them piano lessons.
Sacrificial Giving – At one house, our hosts gave up their own bedroom while we were there. That meant them sleeping in a smaller, less comfortable bed for 6 nights. I’m sure it was a big sacrifice for them, but they insisted we take the master bedroom while we were there. It really moved me. They also cooked special foods for us and went out of their way to plan activities and show us around their town.
These are just a few examples of the hospitality we have experienced. It has made such an impression on me that I am determined to make hosting others a regular part of what we do when we move back to Minnesota. If someone ever asks for a place to stay overnight, we will jump at the opportunity to host.
When you welcome someone into your days, it is one of the most generous gifts you can give.
Magical can be defined as : “beautiful or delightful in such a way as to seem removed from everyday life”
That was how my week in New York City felt. I was a tourist taking it all in for the first time while trying my best not to give myself away as a tourist. Judging by the fact that I was yelled at to ”move a little faster!” my first time in the subway station, I wasn’t fooling anyone. ”You’re not from here, are you?” a business man asked me as the crowd crossed the street on a red light while I patiently waited for the ’walk’ sign.” “No, I most definitely am not, but SHE is,” I said pointing to my daughter who seemed to match the pace of the crowd effortlessly.
My senior, Tabby, and I spent 7 days in a friends’ furnished apartment visiting colleges including The New School, Pace University, NY Institute of Technology, and Marymount Manhattan. Thank you, Bill, for being such a generous and gracious host.
The reason for the trip was to tour colleges, but we were able to do a lot of sightseeing as well. We woke up each day and walked outside in anticipation, not knowing where the day would take us. If we got tired, we came back to the apartment and took a nap. If we got hungry, we went out and found something to eat. As a mom of four who rarely takes this type of vacation for seven whole days, I felt a freedom I haven’t felt in a long time. It was also my first time spending an extended time with my child who is no longer a child but an adult.
As I reflect on the week, here are some of the things I appreciated about this magical city.
The Subway – Most New Yorkers don’t own cars. They take the subway and buses. For $34, we purchased an unlimited weekly pass. We used google maps on our phones to navigate. The sound of the subway grew on me.
Walking – I loved the amount of walking we had to do. Most days we walked between 8-10 miles. I was having a lot of back pain going into the trip and it got better with each day. I attribute some of this to all the walking I did.
Food – There is such a variety of food for every budget. Everything from homemade pasta to pizza to gyros to seafood to crepes. Deciding what to eat each day was one of my favorite parts of exploring the city.
Diversity – Over 800 languages are spoken in NYC. I especially noticed this as we were walking across the Brooklyn Bridge and truly feeling the whole world on that bridge. Anytime I am surrounded by more than just English speakers, I feel a rush of happiness.
Art and Culture – New York is home to so many incredible museums, opera, symphony, dance, and of course – Broadway. We didn’t see any shows, but we did visit two museums – The MOMA and Cloisters. We also enjoyed some live blues in a bar while eating chicken wings.
E.B. White in Here is New York describes the city like this:
There are roughly three New Yorks.
There is, first, the New York of the man or woman who was born here, who takes the city for granted and accepts its size and its turbulence as natural and inevitable. Second, there is the New York of the commuter — the city that is devoured by locusts each day and spat out each night. Third, there is the New York of the person who was born somewhere else and came to New York in quest of something. …Commuters give the city its tidal restlessness; natives give it solidity and continuity; but the settlers give it passion. ”
After the initial panic of being in a strange city with more noise and a faster pace than I’m used to, I started to settle in and see these different groups of people. The people who call NYC home.
I observed the school children walking home carrying backpacks and chatting with their friends. I saw young parents loaded up with water bottles and snacks, talking to other parents as their preschoolers played in Central Park. I watched a group doing a workout in an apartment parking lot and a little league baseball game that didn’t look that different than games I have attended elsewhere. I watched the business people grabbing their coffee in the mornings, the janitors cleaning the floors in the apartment we were staying, and the chess players in Washington square. NYC is not just a tourist destination or a place where people come to make money. People come and go and those who stay do so for a reason.
Tabby is considering moving to New York. She is still undecided. It’s a city of opportunity, diversity, art, and beauty. It is also expensive and she is weighing whether it is worth the financial cost. Whatever she decides longterm, I will be grateful for the time we spent together on this very lovely spring break trip and look forward to the next time I get to go again.
My husband, Mark, was invited to do a video shoot in Scottsdale, Arizona area for a wellness company called Inspire Life. I came along for the sunshine and good company. We stayed at a Casita found on airbnb. It was on a gravel road lined with horse ranches. The first thing I noticed upon arriving in this state was the cactus. So many cacti!
There were also Lots of Hiking Trails. They were everywhere. We are not in the greatest shape, but we took in some of the trails marked “easy” and they did not disappoint. We quickly learned the importance of water and sunscreen.
We enjoyed wonderful food over the 4 days. My favorite meal was at a place called The Farm at South Mountain in Phoenix. They serve a farm to table breakfast that was absolutely amazing.
The last day of our trip came to a crashing end as I took a bad tumble off a BIRD scooter. It was at the end of a 30 minute ride and after countless compliments from Mark on how well I was doing, I accelerated, lost focus, and went flying off the scooter and onto the pavement. I felt my head hit first and knew it was bad when I saw blood flowing onto my hands and legs. I started screaming and quickly drew a crowd. The onlookers who were trained in first aid jumped into action and another bystander called 911. I heard her telling the first responders “she must be in her 20’s” and I responded ”I’m 42!” At that point, Mark said he knew “I was going to be ok.”
I was so sore and weak from the fall, that I requested a wheel chair at the airport. We got back home to MN at midnight, and I’ve never in my life been more thankful for my own bed.
I heard this expression “Dream Louder” in a song written by Vanessa Gamble in the incredible musical about marriage called Til Death. In the musical, two couples find themselves stuck in the same cabin during a snowstorm. One pair is a couple of quirky young lovebirds on their honeymoon and the other, a married couple on the verge of possible separation. The older couple realize among many things that they have forgotten who they are and how to dream. Dream louder is a call to rediscovering those dreams and calling them out.
This idea rings true to me as I have spent the last 18 years pouring my energy into my kids and have neglected to recognize my dreams for self beyond motherhood. I have also neglected my marriage for seasons and have myself felt neglected.
As our 20th wedding anniversary approached this year, Mark and I began dreaming of taking a trip to reignite our love for each other and remember who we are and where we are going as a couple and as individuals.
We chose Punta Cana, Dominican Republic, as our destination and went to work getting passports and booking a resort. It felt too good to be true. As the count down to the trip got closer and Covid loomed on, I wondered if it would happen. We drove our kids to Grandparents house, bought sunhats, and packed a combination purchased and borrowed dress up clothes and beachwear for seven days in paradise.
It actually happened. Now I’m home and it feels like waking up from the very best dream I’ve ever had. What a wonderful week in the sun it was. I feel incredibly spoiled and take none of it for granted. Waiting 20 years to go on the honeymoon I always wish I’d had made it even sweeter.
We all need to give ourselves permission to dream. What you dream for, only you may understand. It may not be a trip. It may be something else. Your dreams may change. Whatever you are dreaming, dream louder.
If you are interested in the song Dream Louder and the musical Til Death, you can find out more here.
