Posted by Tagged with Self care, self reflection, The artist way Posted in Uncategorized

Firsts in my 40’s

Who says life ends when you get older? When I turned 40 a few years ago, it felt like my life was ready to start a new chapter.

My first 3 decades were spent keeping others around me happy and believing everything I was told to be true. I had little kids and was learning everything the hard way (the way most moms do the first time around). I worried about every new stage, worried about money, and if my kids were going to turn out, and if I would make it through the next dentist appointment, or urgent care visit, or head lice, or impetigo, or all the other crazy sicknesses kids catch when they leave the house. I still worry about those things and new things that come with the teen years like my kids’ choice of friends, grades, mental health, faith, and sexual identity.

I want my 40’s to be a time of listening and learning from new voices, learning to trust my own voice, and dreaming bigger dreams for myself and those I love. I’m not a risk taker, but have realized that never stepping into new things only bleeds frustration. Trying new things, even if they have flopped, has brought new confidence.

A few things I’ve tried for the first time since turning 40 have been:

blogging

tent camping with the whole family

going to a black lives matter protest

reading books by people of color and LGBTQ affirming authors

teaching piano lessons online

Learning from therapy and a spiritual director

our first family camping trip

Some things on my bucket list are:

20th anniversary trip with my husband

buying a house (we have always rented)

getting a dog

gardening (never had one)

planning a girls weekend with friends

writing a book

Finding other piano teachers to grow Welcome Mat Music

What is something you are hoping and dreaming about? Saying it out loud can help get the train rolling and maybe someone will read or hear your voice and help you with your next steps.


Posted by Tagged with rest, Self care, self kindness, self reflection Posted in Uncategorized

Rest isn’t just for vacation.

Do you schedule yourself every minute of everyday?
Do you feel uncomfortable with long unplanned stretches of time? Do you wonder if you are missing something when you stay home on a Friday night and go to bed early?

We live in a world that tells us “Busy is Best!” How many times have you asked someone, “How have you been?” and their response has been “Busy!”

This year when my four kids went to school all day for the first time, I was intentional about not filling up my free hours. I decided to take the mornings to stay home and read, journal, and take long walks.
It was wonderful for the first few weeks, but then I started questioning my decision. Should I be doing more? Working more? Trying to take on another job? My slow mornings somehow felt lavish and something a retiree would do, but not a 41 year old.


Why is it so hard to give ourselves permission to STOP? To stop striving, racing, running, and competing,

One of the conclusions that I came to for myself is that I gain a lot of my fulfillment from being needed by others. I also have this nagging fear that someone that I care about will think that I am selfish or lazy. Being a helper is a big part of my identity, and rest involves saying, “No. I can’t help you right now.

What will it take for you to give yourself permission to rest? Rest is not meant to be an occasional luxury, but a regular rhythm that helps us find peace and delight.