A 23 year old Lie that I Chose to Believe
I’m going to tell you about a little lie that has been playing on repeat in my head for 23 years. Today, I finally recognized it for what it was and said, “I don’t believe it!”
I went to college for Elementary Education and as part of the program, I had to do a number of practice teaching assignments in different schools. My first assignment was in a 3rd grade classroom. I don’t remember much about what I taught or even what school it was, but what I do remember is the negative review I received from the cooperating teacher. It was a written review that was given to my professor. The review said I didn’t have good classroom management, couldn’t handle the class on my own, and could not be trusted with my own classroom. I immediately questioned this review (I mean, come on, it was my very first time in charge of a classroom. I had no training and no help. Who is supposed to be helping who here?)
Needless to say, I never ended up applying for teaching jobs or having my own classroom. I decided to teach one-on-one piano lessons because someone told me I was good at it and it seemed more manageable than a classroom of 25-30 kids.
What I never realized until today was the POWER OF THAT ONE NEGATIVE REVIEW. I walked away from teaching groups of kids ever since. Something I didn’t pay attention to over the years was that I really enjoyed organizing groups in my everyday “mom life”. I would gather groups of kids in a park to play with a parachute or play games. I also loved planning birthday parties and making up scavenger hunts for holidays. Group activities gave me a chance to use my creativity and adapt to changes on the fly.
Fast forward to today, I did a big thing. I taught my first GROUP piano class! It was so much fun, I couldn’t stop smiling. Why did I believe the lie for this long that I couldn’t teach groups?! Do you find it surprising that a negative word by a supervisor during a formative time in my life affected my entire career path? It is honestly kind of shocking that words of someone in authority could hold so much power.
Do you remember a time when a negative report or evaluation stuck with you and made you believe something about yourself that wasn’t true? Maybe you are someone in authority, a teacher, or even a parent who has spoken negative messages to the impressionable young people in your life? How can you be more careful with your words and be quick to apologize when you realize you may have been too negative or heavy-handed in your feedback?
I am pretty embarrassed it has taken me 23 years to realize that I like teaching groups and might even be good at it. What are you realizing about yourself? It’s never too late to try something new. The only failure is an unwillingness to give it a try.
Here are some photos from my group piano performance class today.
