Posted by Tagged with family, memories, Minnesota, parenting, Reflection Posted in Uncategorized

Snow Day!

There’s nothing quite like a snow day. Especially when the storm falls on a weekday. I remember as a child of the 80’s, sitting in front of the radio listening to the list of school cancellations being read in alphabetical order. When Marshall was called, we would jump up and down and run around the house screaming “School’s cancelled! School’s cancelled!”

Tonight we got word that St Paul schools would be cancelled tomorrow due to a pre-Thanksgiving snow storm. There was no waiting by the radio, but I did receive a text message, email, and voicemail.

A snow day for the kids means staying up a little later, sitting by the window and watching the snow fall by candle light. During the day off, there will be movies, board games, blanket forts in the living room, freshly baked cookies, family time, playing in the snow, and shoveling. Lots and lots of shoveling.

During a rare April snow day in 2018, the kids made an epic snow fort. The fort was modeled after a similar fort that my brothers and sisters and I made growing up. I am still in search of a photograph of the original. The fort was made from bricks of snow stacked in rows about 6-8 high with the word “HONK” written on the front with food coloring.

The kids had a blast jumping out from
behind the wall and cheering when cars would honk

Whether you are dreading the coming winter or as excited as my kids, I hope you will find something to savor in this first snow day.

Posted by Tagged with birthdays, hospitality, memories, parenting, parties Posted in Uncategorized

My Top 3 Kid Birthday Parties

With four kids ranging from age 5 to 17, I have thrown my share of birthday parties. If you count one party a year for each of my kids, I have currently thrown 47 birthday parties. Can I say that again? 47 Parties!!

Here are my top 3 most memorable

Around the World Party We packed a dozen 1st graders into our basement laundry room in Minneapolis. Rows of folding chairs transformed the space into an airplane.

I was the stewardess who helped the guests board the plane and gave them a boxed snack to eat mid-flight. Mark was the pilot that guided us through the take off and landing, complete with sound effects.

Who Wants to be a Millionaire Party

when Ellie turned 9, one of our favorite TV shows to watch as a family was Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. Mark set up speakers in the basement and played host of the popular game show. All the prepared questions had to do with American Girl dolls. The volume of the theme song pouring out of the speakers seemed to shake the whole house. The kids each soaked up their moment of fame as a contestant in the hot seat.

Paint Fight Party

When Tabby turned 15, she asked for a paint fight party. I bought 12 large bottles of washable tempera paint and the kids all wore white. We walked to a grassy field near our house and the teenagers ran around and threw paint on each other for about 10 wild minutes. That’s as long as the paint lasted.

After the paint attack, back at the house, everyone attempted to wash off using the garden hose. It was SUCH a mess. An insane mess. The kids went home and told their parents that it was the best birthday party EVER! I still cannot believe that I allowed it.

Most of the other parties have been fairly tame compared to those three. We have went bowling, ate frozen yogurt, had a doll tea party, decorated cookies, solved secret codes, watched a movie, and smashed lots of piñatas.

The thing that makes parties worth giving is the excitement leading up to the big day. There’s nothing like hearing my kids’ squeals of delight as each guest walks from their car up to our front door with present in hand.

The kids talk about it for weeks beforehand and count the days and hours and minutes until the first friend arrives. It brings me great joy to see them grow with each year. I wonder how many more birthday parties there will be? I think I’ll just enjoy a few months off until the next one.

Posted by Tagged with mothering, parenting, rest, Selfcare Posted in Uncategorized

A Brush with Self Care

As a nurturing mother, oldest child, and natural born helper, I didn’t give self care much thought until about 5 years ago. I didn’t have a clear understanding of the word.

I thought Self care = Selfish and I had been taught clearly from childhood that being selfish was bad. I still remember clearly the Sunday School song:

“Put Jesus first and Others second and put Yourself at the end of the line, And you will find true Joy in your life through J-O-Y. I loved that song. I lived it with great pride.

Then, I spent 12 years as a full-time stay at home mom with no time to myself. Add a few major life challenges and finding out I was pregnant with baby #4, and I reached major burn-out.

Over time, the realization came that I was not feeling the least bit joyful. I resented never speaking up for myself and always giving up my needs for everyone else. Through some therapy, I realized that I had lived my life treating everyone else kindly, but not being kind to myself – At All.

I have begun thinking of this topic of self care as Self Kindness

Love is Kind. I cannot truly love the people in my life unless I love myself. I began giving myself permission to rest from always caring for the needs of others. I had to figure out what was restful and then make time for it”

As a young mom, I remember coming to the end of a day after the kids had finally fallen asleep and the house was quiet, and thinking “Now, I can FINALLY rest” . I’ve earned it!!” I defined rest as a small compartment reserved for when the work was done.

Life can be hard. Really hard. There were days and weeks and years when the urgent drowned out the important in my life, and the only break I got was 5 minutes in the bathroom with the door closed. Self care for me started with a decision. I would make a daily choice to be kind to myself and at times that would mean saying no to the demands of others.

I have been gradually adding daily practices that have helped me find rest. *Candle light *Journaling *Drinking coffee *Walking *Going outside in nature *Turning off my phone *Time with friends *Reading *Smiling and making funny faces at myself in the mirror.

After intentionally trying to be more kind to myself for the past 5 years, I have noticed something. I call it a Brush with Self Care. Imagine a paint with water picture. The brush dipped in the water symbolizes self care. When you take the time to dip your brush and apply it to the pages of your life, you will begin to see colors emerge. The colors are the hidden talents, the things you never knew you loved, and the gifts that have been hiding in plain sight.