Posted by Tagged with Family travel, family US roadtrip, Midlifecreative, parenting, traveling homeschool family Posted in Uncategorized

3 Week Countdown to Travel!

I wanted to give you a quick update on our trip. It’s really happening, and after a year of this being an idea, it’s coming up in just 3 weeks! We leave November 1st.

Here are some of your most asked questions answered:

Did you buy an RV? Nope. Our vehicle is a Honda Pilot. We are traveling light.

Where will you go first?

We plan to take about 9 days to get to Macon, Georgia where we will stay in an airbnb for a month. On the way to Macon, we intend to stay in
🏠Madison, WI
🏠Normal, IL
🏠Indianapolis, IN
🏠Cincinatti, OH
🏕Cumberland Falls State Park and
🏠Chatanooga, TN

We have planned the trip intentionally so we only drive about 4 hours in a day. (This is a marathon, not a sprint 😁) If you want to know if we are coming through your state in the next 6 months, send me a personal message.

I’m not going to list the whole trip’s itinerary in this one post. You’ll have to follow this blog (or personal emails and texts are always welcome) if you want to keep up with us. You can also sign up for our Postcard Club. It’s a simple way to support our adventure in a small way with $6 a month and we will send you postcards from the road.

Learn about the postcard club

https://www.patreon.com/midlifecreative

(If you can’t swing the $6, but still want to get postcards, just send me a message with your mailing address)

What do the kids think about the trip?

“I feel more and more everyday that this is the best decision for our family, but what if I can’t get the kids to see it?”

Both girls have struggled with switching to homeschooling this year and all of the life changes we’ve made (including having both older siblings move away to college). We have had some great days and some really hard days. I have seen our relationships grow closer these last few months and we have made so many memories together through simplifying our life and routine. Its amazing how much time was spent doing homework, packing lunches, and rushing to get to school in the mornings. Now, our days feel unhurried and more restful.
Our older two kids, Elliot and Tabby, are practicing their ”adulting skills” at college in Massachusetts and NYC. They just spent their fall break together which made me very happy.

Will Mark be DJing on the trip? Will you be teaching piano lessons?

Mark will be booking weddings and events for summer of 2023 and 2024 and overseeing his other DJs from the road. He will be flying home for 3 weddings during the trip. I will be taking a complete break from teaching, but hope to connect with some piano teachers in other states during the trip.

What are you most looking forward to?

ANNA –

  • I’m looking forward to seeing new parts of the country, especially National Parks. I look forward to being near the ocean in December and missing out on the MN winter.
  • I’m also really excited to meet new people and bring attention to seemingly “ordinary faces” who don’t get noticed, but are really quite extraordinary. I want to inspire others to become Story Hunters looking for great stories from people in their everyday lives who have been overlooked.

MARK –

  • I’m looking forward to walking about the United States to discover fresh purpose for the 2nd half of my life.
  • Making memories with Anna and the kids.

MALIA – I’m not looking forward to the trip much at all, but if I had to say something –

  • the dogs and
  • the ocean.

(if we could send her home with a dog (or a bunny), it would all be worth it 😂)

Ivy is the one who is always saying, ”Take a picture of me!!”

IVY –

  • I’m looking forward to eating Asian food.
  • I’m excited to play in the ocean, see dolphins and dogs, ride horses, see cactus, and hike in mountains.

What are you hoping to gain personally from this trip?

I want this trip to stretch and challenge me (Anna) to grow in several areas.

#1. My willingness to ask for help.

#2. Boldness and confidence in speaking to people I am meeting for the first time.

#3. Courage to speak up about things I care about that may be controversial.

A few more thoughts

Do you have a dream of trying something out of the traditional box that scares you? Do you hold back because you are afraid of what people will think?
Maybe its not travel, but a business idea or a new life direction, a parenting idea, or even something that seems small to most people, but is really a big change for you.

Encourage your Midlife Creative self today to see how far you’ve come and ask yourself, ”What small changes can I make to become more fully myself”

Posted by Posted in Uncategorized

Transitioning from “Normal Life” to ”Roadtrip Life”

We are about 6 weeks away from hitting the road and spending the rest of this school year traveling the United States.

These photos show a few snapshots of sending our oldest two kids off to college and saying goodbye to our neighborhood – moving from one season to the next.


Here are a few more BIG changes we have made in the past month.

  • Got rid of over half of our possessions and moved collectibles, memories and other items not needed for the trip into a storage unit.
  • Moved out of the house we have been renting (as our lease was ending) and into our friends’ carriage house for 2 months.
  • Pulled our kids out of their schools and started homeschooling in preparation for schooling on the trip.
  • Began contacting friends and acquaintances in other states and asking if they would be willing to host us for anywhere between 1 night – 2 weeks.
  • Bought a new Honda Pilot and luggage topper. (No, much to everyone’s surprise, we are NOT traveling in an RV)
  • Hired new DJs to work for Mark Haugen DJs back in MN while we are traveling.
  • Told Anna’s piano student families that she will be taking a break from teaching starting in November.
Moving boxes to our storage unit
Friends and family helping us move.
A glimpse into ”the carriage house” – our rental for the next 2 months. We LOVE it.
1st day of homeschooling

My favorite parts of homeschooling so far is journaling and reading alongside my kids and our Friday field-trips.


Where and Why are We Traveling?

Our route will take us through Iowa, Illinois, Ohio, Tennessee, Georgia, North Carolina, Florida, Alabama, Mississippi, and Texas. The 2nd half of the trip is still ”under construction” and will depend on who we can find to host us on our way West to California. Our route and plans are flexible, so if you know of someone you think we ”must meet, a church we should visit, a moms group or piano teacher group Anna should visit, a community, event, historical site, you name it, we would love to hear about it. Our hope is to travel until May and then return to MN to rent or buy a new house.

Why, Why, Why ??

Why would we disrupt our predictable life in such a dramatic way? Why would we do something that seems risky or irresponsible to some? Why would we rock the boat and rely on others to help us along the way?

That’s a great question but maybe a better question may be, ”Why not?”

What if we could step away and try a different path for awhile? What if stepping outside of our normal routine could actually help us discover what our purpose truly is and why we were made? Many young people are doing this the year after they graduate from highschool. They call it a gap year. Others travel right after getting married for a few months and we call this a honeymoon. Others travel after retiring when their kids are grown and there is no longer a job to keep them in one place. I realize there are very good reasons why most families stay in one place while their children are young. It does make logical sense, but just because it is the norm doesn’t mean that everyone needs to do it the same way.

Mark and I are hoping this journey will help us determine what is truly important to us as a family and see the world through different lenses than we ordinarily would standing in one place.

We are both gifted at connecting people who don’t yet know each other and bringing people together in joyful celebrations. We hope both of those things will happen on this trip.

We are excited to meet new people, hear and learn from them, and be an encouragement to the people we stay with.

I’m calling the trip A STORY HUNT and I’m planning to write about it. You can follow along on Instagram @midlifecreativetravels and on Facebook at Anna Haugen. We would would also love for you to join the Postcard Club. We will send you a Postcard from wherever we are that month for your gift of $6 a month.

Join our Postcard Club

Are you curious about how this family travel experiment will turn out? Will it make others consider doing something ”outside of their own normal” in the future?

I’m just as curious as you are. We’ve never done anything like this before. It’s new and scary and exciting.

Whatever happens, its going to make a great chapter in our life story and I’m really excited to start living that chapter.

If you don’t want to be dependent on social media and would like to receive an email notification when new posts are added to the blog, you can sign up above.

Posted by Posted in Uncategorized

Letting Go

I cannot change people.

I cannot change their habits or personalities.

I cannot change the things about them that drive me crazy.

I cannot change how they dress, the choices they make, or what they eat.

I cannot change how they overwater the grass, how they wash the dishes, or the things they are picky about that I see as ridiculous.

I cannot change their anxious or controlling nature, their tendency to repeat themselves, how they drive, their persona on social media, their bedtime routine, their sleep habits, or hygiene routines.

I cannot change what News network they watch, who they vote for, or what they spend their money on.

If I know I cannot change them….any of them….then why do I try?
Why do I seek to manipulate and control by making side comments, bargaining, and complaining? Why do I let other people frustrate me and derail my plans and affect my mood?

Why not just let go?

Open my hands and heart, and let people stay who they are….them.
Maybe my way isn’t the best way? Maybe my way isn’t the only way? Maybe having two sides, or three, or four ways of thinking about things isn’t bad?

Maybe I could even change MY WAY of thinking about things?

Nah, that would be too much.

Posted by Tagged with familyroadtrip, familytravel, lifetransitions, moving, parenting, Stpaulfamily Posted in Uncategorized

Saying Goodbye to Juno Avenue

In a little over one week we will be moving out of our house of 10 years. How can I sum up a decade of memories in a few short paragraphs?

Here’s a fuzzy photo from our move in day on September 1st, 10 years ago. Finding this house to rent was nothing short of miraculous We knew the moment we walked in the door that this was what we had been waiting for. It was after a summer of the kids and I living in Marshall with my parents while Mark worked to make enough money for us to move to St Paul. Fast forward 10 years and so much has changed.

We had a 4th child who is now 8. – Ivy!

We got to see our oldest two graduate from highschool at St Paul Conservatory for Performing Artists.

After several job changes, Mark re-branded his business as Mark Haugen DJs
and is finding great success in officiating and DJing weddings and other events.
I, Anna, have continued to teach piano lessons all these years. It is something I love and will probably never stop doing.

We are fairly certain we will be coming back to the Twin Cities at the end of our trip, but it may not be to the same neighborhood, so we are saying goodbye as if we may not come back to West 7th.

Here are a few things I will miss

The Parks and Trails we have grown to know like the back of our hand
West 7th Community Center, Adams, Palace, Edgecumbe, Mattocks, Wabun, Crosby Farms, Hidden Falls, and Victoria Park. I walk the neighborhood streets everyday and go on a longer nature walk at least 1-2 times a week.

School

We will miss the schools my kids have grown to love and the teachers that invest in them. We will miss the playdates, and parkdates, and birthday parties that come with staying in one place.

Neighbors, neighbors, neighbors!

We have gotten to know many neighbors through the years. I never knew a city could feel so much like a small town in how friendly everyone is. Art House (a renovated church that hosts concerts and plays and is the home to Humble Walk Church) is just down the street. Businesses like Tavial, Mojo monkey, Colossal Cafe, and Cadenza music are regular weekly stops.

We have hosted a few neighborhood bonfires which gave us a reputation as ”the bonfire people.” Halloween and National Night Out as well as the neighborhood square dance at Art House are anticipated gatherings.


Hard days

No, not everyday was smooth sailing. There was the year of the mice, the head lice, the traumatic dental visits for teeth extractions and root canals. There were seasons of anxiety and depression, online school and teaching during Covid, two surgeries, marriage challenges, questions over faith, politics, and wrestling with the changing times.

This was the burning of our couch which finally did get rid of our mice.

A lot can change in 10 years. My biggest change personally has been learning to love myself. I have always put my family and church family’s needs before my own. Because of this, I was living with a lot of bitterness. My need to please people began to come in the way of my ability to enjoy life. I was constantly worrying about whether I was DOING enough instead of asking myself who I wanted to BE. It has been a long and slow process of unlearning some beliefs that were hindering instead of helping me. I am now in a much more joyful place with boundaries set that help me ask myself some good “why” questions before saying yes to things. I know the world won’t fall apart if I step away for a few days or weeks. Speaking of stepping away, we are about to take a giant leap with this roadtrip around the U.S. We will be homeschooling and staying with a combination of family, friends, and airbnbs from November-May. Our travels will take us across the Southern coast from Georgia to Florida to Texas and then West to California. It is going to be a great season for our little family of 4, now that Elliot and Tabby are at colleges on the East Coast.

This quote from one of my favorite authors seems fitting for the start of our next season.
It is scary to take a leap like this, but those who have done similar crazy things have all said things like “Its the best decision we have ever made” or ”you won’t regret it”

We would love to keep in touch through this blog. Sign up for updates here.

Here are a few more of my favorite photos from our Juno Ave house in the form of a photo slideshow. Enjoy!

Posted by Tagged with Artist Spotlight, Artists, Midlifecreative, The artist way Posted in Uncategorized

I Spy a Midlife Creative

Let’s play a game, shall we?
Look around at your friends on social media as well as the people you rub shoulders with in your daily life. Do you immediately think of individuals you would describe as extremely creative?

What exactly is a Midlife Creative?
It’s a person in the middle of their life who is actively pursuing a creative path. They have hobbies they enjoy, they appreciate beautiful things, value nature, and take time to work on their craft – whether that be writing, cooking, art, music, dance, photography, you name it.

These people often help me explore a new angle on an issue or give me permission to go against societal norms. They are not content with a predictable life. They care deeply and are often frustrated when their intentions are misunderstood. These are artists (even though they may not like to use that label on themselves)

We live in a world where comparison keeps us stuck. There is always someone who seems to have a better handle on their creative life than we do or who seems more talented or successful. There’s always someone who has already published a book, has a larger following, or makes enough money to pursue their art as a full-time vocation. Because of this, we see our own art as ordinary, or unworthy of recognition.

Let’s go on a hunt for hiding Midlife Creatives that need a boost of praise. If you notice someone being creative, point it out. Let them know you notice. Tell them specifically what you admire about how they express themselves and what they bring to the world.

If you share on social media, use the hashtag #midlifecreative. Follow the hashtag to read about other midlife creatives like you. Let’s support one another as artists!

Here are a few examples of people in my life who I see as #midlifecreative.


Briana Lavine Leigh @_oh_fer_sure

When I met Briana, I instantly knew we would be friends. Once I asked this question to a room full if people, ”When I say the word creative, does anyone come to mind?” Everyone in the room practically shouted “Briana!”

This girl oozes creativity. You never know what she will come up with next. Whether its a unique social studies lesson, a new recipe, a song, a dance, a water aerobics cheer….this girl does a million things, but a creative thread runs through it all. She doesn’t try to be creative, she just IS.

@volkmanadventures

The Volkmans are adventure bloggers that I enjoy following and have met in real life too. They live to be outside in nature and explore new places in Minnesota. I love how passionate they are about their adventures and sharing them with others. It makes me want to get off the couch and go exploring.

Craig Evans @frailin1 Deanne Lily Parks @artdeanne

These two are one of my favorite #midlifecreative couples. They live in my neighborhood and can be seen playing banjo on their front porch on summer evenings. Deanne is an amazing painter, sculptor, and writer. Craig is a musician, film maker, and life-long learner. He has lots going on (more than I even know) but is extremely humble about it all. These two are great listeners and supporters of other artists. If it wasn’t for Deanne, I may not have read The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron which set me on the path I am today.

Now that you’ve read a few examples of Midlife Creatives in my life, tell me about yours. Who inspires you to live a more creative life? I hope you’ll join me in sharing on your own instagram and using the hashtag #midlifecreative

Posted by Tagged with Family travel, parenting, roadtrip Posted in Uncategorized

We Are Moving!

BIG NEWS!

We are moving out of our home of 10 years on Juno Avenue in St Paul at the end of August.

Tabby and Ellie will both be moving out to attend colleges on the East Coast, and we will just have Malia and Ivy, ages 11 and 8, with us.  

It’s a new season in our family as our older two kids have both entered adulthood.

Every year, we take time to consider the next year and what it holds.  Both Mark and I have been feeling like we are on the brink of change. We’ve decided not to re-sign our lease, but before moving on to a new home, we are planning a 6 month U.S. road trip.   

We see this family travel as a pilgrimage, a time of learning, and a chance to see God in new faces and places.

The idea for the trip came back in the summer of 2021 while Mark and I were on a drive to Chicago for a wedding. We started noticing license plates from different states and writing them down. We were just dreaming together as we drove down the road and Mark said, “What if we took a trip and made a show called “Where Will We Move?”   

I usually reject these kind of big ideas immediately, but for some reason this time, I felt a resounding, “Yes, Let’s Do It!”  Maybe not a show, but the road trip.  

We told our friends Ross and Jenn about it, and they said they knew a family who had done something similar a few years back.  We set up a meeting with the Schenk family of five and they shared with us stories from their road trip which lasted 9 months and spanned most of the United States.

That meeting gave me faith that this kind of thing was possible.  I had only heard of people traveling longer term with an RV, but this family had stayed in the homes of their friends like we envisioned doing.   

The next step was to tell our kids, our families, and my piano students.  Even though we are only planning to be gone for about 6 months, it will be during the winter months and we will miss the big holidays of Thanksgiving and Christmas back in MN.

Mark’s main DJ season ends November 1st and that is when we plan to begin our trip.  He will have occasional weddings and events during the trip and will also be booking future business in MN while we are gone.  I will be taking a break from teaching piano and focusing on homeschooling Malia and Ivy and doing some writing.  

Where will we go?  Where will we stay?

We are in the beginning stages of setting up an itinerary and finding people to host us.   We envision our trip starting in November, lasting 6 months, and covering most of the Southern states.  

Places we know we will be visiting are Illinois, Indiana, Tennessee, Georgia, North and South Carolina, Florida, Alabama, Texas, Arizona, Colorado, Idaho, California, and Utah.    

Let us know if you would be interested in hosting us, or know of people we should meet. 

I want to include Malia and Ivy as a way of keeping in touch with people we care about.  We will document the places we visit, the things we see, and stories we hear in a newsletter called “The Story Hunt”

If you would like to support our travels in a practical way, you can join our patreon community. For $6 a month, we will send you a postcard from the road and our ”Story Hunt” newsletter over email each month starting in November. Enter your email address below to get details on how to follow our upcoming adventures.

Also, let us know if you would like to host us as we come through your state or if you have people you think we should meet or places we must see. 
   

Thanks in advance for your support of this big adventure!

Anna, Mark, Malia and Ivy

Posted by Tagged with art, Food, NYC, parenting teens, travel Posted in Uncategorized

New York City= Magical

Magical can be defined as : “beautiful or delightful in such a way as to seem removed from everyday life”

That was how my week in New York City felt. I was a tourist taking it all in for the first time while trying my best not to give myself away as a tourist.
Judging by the fact that I was yelled at to ”move a little faster!” my first time in the subway station, I wasn’t fooling anyone. ”You’re not from here, are you?” a business man asked me as the crowd crossed the street on a red light while I patiently waited for the ’walk’ sign.”
“No, I most definitely am not, but SHE is,” I said pointing to my daughter who seemed to match the pace of the crowd effortlessly.

My senior, Tabby, and I spent 7 days in a friends’ furnished apartment visiting colleges including The New School, Pace University, NY Institute of Technology, and Marymount Manhattan. Thank you, Bill, for being such a generous and gracious host.

The reason for the trip was to tour colleges, but we were able to do a lot of sightseeing as well. We woke up each day and walked outside in anticipation, not knowing where the day would take us. If we got tired, we came back to the apartment and took a nap. If we got hungry, we went out and found something to eat. As a mom of four who rarely takes this type of vacation for seven whole days, I felt a freedom I haven’t felt in a long time. It was also my first time spending an extended time with my child who is no longer a child but an adult.

As I reflect on the week, here are some of the things I appreciated about this magical city.

The Subway – Most New Yorkers don’t own cars. They take the subway and buses. For $34, we purchased an unlimited weekly pass. We used google maps on our phones to navigate. The sound of the subway grew on me.

Walking – I loved the amount of walking we had to do. Most days we walked between 8-10 miles. I was having a lot of back pain going into the trip and it got better with each day. I attribute some of this to all the walking I did.

Food – There is such a variety of food for every budget. Everything from homemade pasta to pizza to gyros to seafood to crepes. Deciding what to eat each day was one of my favorite parts of exploring the city.

Diversity – Over 800 languages are spoken in NYC. I especially noticed this as we were walking across the Brooklyn Bridge and truly feeling the whole world on that bridge. Anytime I am surrounded by more than just English speakers, I feel a rush of happiness.

Art and Culture – New York is home to so many incredible museums, opera, symphony, dance, and of course – Broadway. We didn’t see any shows, but we did visit two museums – The MOMA and Cloisters. We also enjoyed some live blues in a bar while eating chicken wings.


E.B. White in Here is New York describes the city like this:

There are roughly three New Yorks.

There is, first, the New York of the man or woman who was born here, who takes the city for granted and accepts its size and its turbulence as natural and inevitable. Second, there is the New York of the commuter — the city that is devoured by locusts each day and spat out each night.
Third, there is the New York of the person who was born somewhere else and came to New York in quest of something. 
…Commuters give the city its tidal restlessness; natives give it solidity and continuity; but the settlers give it passion. ”

After the initial panic of being in a strange city with more noise and a faster pace than I’m used to, I started to settle in and see these different groups of people. The people who call NYC home.

I observed the school children walking home carrying backpacks and chatting with their friends. I saw young parents loaded up with water bottles and snacks, talking to other parents as their preschoolers played in Central Park. I watched a group doing a workout in an apartment parking lot and a little league baseball game that didn’t look that different than games I have attended elsewhere. I watched the business people grabbing their coffee in the mornings, the janitors cleaning the floors in the apartment we were staying, and the chess players in Washington square. NYC is not just a tourist destination or a place where people come to make money. People come and go and those who stay do so for a reason.

Tabby is considering moving to New York. She is still undecided. It’s a city of opportunity, diversity, art, and beauty. It is also expensive and she is weighing whether it is worth the financial cost. Whatever she decides longterm, I will be grateful for the time we spent together on this very lovely spring break trip and look forward to the next time I get to go again.

Posted by Tagged with Artist Spotlight, Cooking, family, mothering Posted in Uncategorized

Artist Spotlight – Jen Levin

Did you grow up on Totinos or Jacks frozen pizza and then one day discover how good pizza can be with a homemade crust and fresh ingredients?
I met Jen Levin a few years ago when her family moved to St Paul. When we met, I could tell in one conversation that she was what I call a “midlife creative.” I caught her sketching during the sermon at church, found out she was an expert gardener, and amazing cook (well, pretty amazing compared to me!)
The first time I was at her house, she told me that she makes homemade pizza for her family almost every Friday night. It was a Monday and they were eating the leftovers for lunch. I thought to myself, ”Now here is someone I can learn from….or at the very least, get some good pizza from!”

Time passed and I followed the photos of Jen’s pizzas on her Instagram. The ingredients she used were so unique and I was impressed by her commitment to improve this pizza making craft. I asked if I could come over on a Friday night and watch her work her magic.

When I arrived at the Levin home, Jen had the dough ready and ingredients prepped. She had made the dough the night before and let it rise overnight. I always thought pizza dough had to rise in the oven or in a warm place, but this is not necessary. As long as the dough stays room temperature and you don’t live in a really cold house, it should be fine. The crust recipe Jen uses is just flour, water, salt, and yeast. She buys her flour in a 50lb bag from Cosettas market in St Paul. That bag of flour lasts her 6 months. She says that she gets a lot of funny looks and questions when she comes in asking for that amount of flour.

Jen has a large family so she usually makes at least 6 pizzas at a time. As I watched her, she made it look so easy. She tossed each circle of dough into the air, fashioning it into a crust.

There were a few things that surprised me. One, was how simple the red sauce was. Just whole tomatoes from a can and spices. Two, she didn’t pre-cook her sausage. She put it on the pizza raw. The high temperature of the broiler cooks the sausage throughout in a matter of minutes. There is no need to pre-cook the meat.

This is Jen’s favorite cookbook where she gets her crust recipe and inspiration for toppings. My Pizza by Jim Lahey.

This pizza was 1/2 thinly sliced apple, garlic butter, and cheddar cheese and 1/2 onion, rosemary, pistachios, and grated parmesan.
This one was more of a traditional supreme with pepperoni, sausage, green olives, and mozzarella. My favorite pizza of the night was one with goat cheese, sausage, mushrooms, and olives. I decided I am definitely a fan of goat cheese (something I would never think to try on my own)

The trickiest part of the pizza making, in my opinion, is the baking. Jen uses the broiler setting on her oven. She puts one pizza in the bottom broiler drawer and another on the bottom shelf of the oven. Then she rotates them a couple minutes into the cooking process. The bottom broiler cooks the bottom crust and the top oven finishes browning the top of the pizza

This is the ”peel” she uses to take the pizzas out of the oven. I need to get myself one of these.

I asked Jen about her inspiration for pizza making. She said some of the best pizza she ever ate was in Sicily while living there with her family for 3 months. Restaurants in Italy wouldn’t typically open until 8pm and they had little kids with bedtimes. They found a place close to their apartment that opened at 7pm and it became a favorite spot.

During our pre-dinner chat, there were also stories of a New York City pizza she ate once after a run in the rain, and ”the best pizza ever” with her sister at Pizza Bianco in Phoenix, AZ.

Why every Friday night?

As I watched this labor of love unfold (the whole process took close to two hours) I wondered to myself if the time and effort was worth it. Why not just order take out?

It became clear as I watched Jen making those pizzas, that this was important to her and to her family.
She told me that this is something everyone loves and something they look forward to.   She enjoys getting people together, and the laid back atmosphere of chatting while the pizzas are coming out of the oven, one by one. “I love good food and I love making it for people and with people,” she says.

Upon tasting the final product, all my questions faded away. This pizza, made with love, was an incredible gift and a creative expression from the chef.

Jen’s longterm goal is to have her own food truck. I hope that this can become a reality.

I’ll be first in line to order!

“I’ll have the sausage, olives, mushrooms, and goat cheese.”


Posted by Posted in Uncategorized

Seasons of Parenting

My husband reminded me recently that parenting can be thought of in 3 stages. I’m sure he heard it from someone else, and I’d love to quote the source if you know it.

Ages 0-12 – The Parent is the coach
During these years, we show our kids what to do and why. This is a season of intense training. We teach our kids so much of what they will carry with them for the rest of their lives.


Ages 13-17 – The Parent is the cheerleader We step back and encourage our kids to live out what they know.

Ages 18+ – The Parent is the consultant During this phase, we can give advice, but only when asked or invited.

My oldest is 20 and my second is 18. Mark and I are stepping back and trusting that they have what it takes to make their own decisions. My youngest kids are 8 and 11 and still very much needing our coaching. I will be the first to admit that I get things wrong all the time with my oldest and my youngest. Thats why I need reminders like this.

Recognize the season you are in, ask for help, and give yourself grace


Posted by Posted in Uncategorized

Lessons from Therapy

Growing up in an Evangelical Christian sub-culture, I digested a steady diet of the following expectations for women and mothers:

EXPECTATIONS

  • Keep your household running smoothly.
  • Raise respectful and kind children who share your values.
  • Actively serve others and volunteer in your church, school, and community. Attend church, Sunday School, youth group, and Bible study.
  • Throw birthday parties and baby showers and whatever other event is needed in your relational sphere.
  • Send cards.
  • Visit the elderly.
  • Show hospitality by inviting others into your home often.
  • Encourage your kids to go to vacation Bible school, retreats, camps, youth group, and short term mission trips.
  • Make healthy home cooked meals everyday, sit around the table and eat as a family.
  • Have a family devotion time where you pray and read the Bible
  • Limit screen time. Don’t watch any movies above PG. Listen to Christian radio and music only
  • Send your kids to Christian school or homeschool.
  • Make sure your teenager gets their drivers license, makes good choices, and gets into a good college. Bonus points if they don’t drink, smoke, or have sex before marriage.
  • Work on building a godly marriage. (marriage between a man and a woman). If there are conflicts, make them right. Go on weekly dates, attend marriage retreats, don’t let the sun go down on your anger, and divorce is not an option except in very extreme circumstances
  • Keep your finances in order, stay out of debt, save, and make wise choices when it comes to money.

So the question becomes:

“What if my family isn’t looking much like that above list?

Take a look at your expectations for yourself and ask where those expectations came from. Maybe you have your own unique upbringing where expectations were communicated. Are they what you want, or what others expect from you?

Can you pinpoint who you are aside from the opinions of others? You can live a life uniquely YOUR OWN. There is freedom in that! Who is telling you how to parent and how to handle your relationships? Where are the ”shoulds“ coming from?

Much of life is out of your control. You cannot control your loved ones and they cannot control you. The life you envisioned for yourself may not be the life you are living.

You are finding your way and embracing real life in all its beautiful mess. Embrace the process of figuring yourself out. Its real work and it takes time.