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Dipped in Chocolate

Do you realize how many things can be dipped in chocolate? Lots and lots of things! With Valentine’s Day coming up, I thought it would be fun to write about a favorite chocolate recipe of mine – Oreo Truffles.

This recipe is one that I have been making for years. Brooke Malek, my mom friend and doula for Ellie’s birth (going on 20 years ago) shared the recipe. They are quite simple, with only 3 ingredients.

You will need: 1 block of cream cheese

1 package of Oreo cookies

1 package of chocolate almond bark

  1. Put the entire package of Oreos into a ziplock bag and smash them with a rolling pin. (or use a food processor or blender)
  2. Soften the cream cheese and mix it with the crushed Oreos. (I use an electric mixer)
  3. Spoon the cream cheese mixture onto a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper (like you are making chocolate chip cookies)
  4. Set the cookie sheet in the freezer for 30 minutes to chill
  5. Melt the almond bark in a skillet on the stove and add a tbsp or two of coconut oil to make dipping easier.
  6. Take the cream cheese balls out of the freezer and dip them into the melted chocolate.
  7. Chill and serve

Once you finish dipping your Oreo Truffles you will likely have a lot of chocolate left. Here’s another cookie you can make using only 3 ingredients: chocolate peanut butter sandwich cookies

Ritz crackers, peanut butter, and almond bark

Spread peanut butter between two Ritz crackers and dip into chocolate. It’s that simple!

If you still have chocolate left, start looking through your cupboards for other things to dip. I found these Trader Joes crackers, dipped them in chocolate and brought them to a friend and she was asking for the recipe. When I told her it was just crackers dipped in chocolate, she was surprised and asked, ”but what about the coconut flavor?” “Oh, right, that’s the spoonful of coconut oil melted into the chocolate”


Another thing I ended up finding in my cupboard and dipping in chocolate were these waffle icecream bowls. They turned out looking so fun!

Long story short, a block of chocolate almond bark and a spoonful of coconut oil can go a long way for dipping whatever crackers, pretzels, or fruit you may have on hand. I’d love to hear about other foods you have had success with dipping in chocolate.

Posted by Tagged with family, mothering, parenting, teenagers Posted in Uncategorized

My Love for You

My love for you is not dependent on 

Getting good grades

Winning a contest 

Looking a certain way

Being popular

Getting a driver’s license 

Having friends

Graduating

Going to college

My love for you is not dependent on 

Your gender identity

Your sexual orientation

The state of your mental health

The state of your physical health

What religion you choose or don’t choose 

Your social status or wealth 

My love for you will not change if

You get cancelled on the Internet

Arrested

Suspended

Fired

Pregnant 

Or need to move back home someday 

***

My love for you is not dependent on

If you marry

If you have children 

If you live close by or far away


***

You are not a disappointment to me.  

I may be disappointed in circumstances

Or my shattered expectations

I may be surprised by things you say 

Or frustrated with how things turn out 

I may hurt if you are hurting 

And get angry and want to blame 

I may say things I regret 

I may even make you feel like you are

A disappointment

But, you’re not.  

***

My love for you will always remain

For as long as I breath, you are my child

You cannot earn this love

You cannot change this love

You cannot lose this love 

This love for you is fierce

And it’s never going away

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2021 Family Update

Here are my top 5 highs and 2 lows from 2021. It really was hard to narrow it down.


HIGHS

5. Camping at Pattison State Park. Those of you who know me well, know that I love being outdoors. We have slowly started to dip our toes into the world of camping – very slowly. We found this gem of a state park just over the border in Wisconsin thanks to our friends @volkmanadventures on Instagram. This park had two beautiful waterfalls, a swimming beach, and was just a short drive to Duluth.

Tabby invited a friend who was a great addition to the camping crew.

4. Outdoor Piano Recital. As a piano teacher, I missed gathering with my students during 2020 and was thrilled when one of my piano families agreed to host an outdoor spring recital in their huge front yard. Mark set up speakers and I used my Clavinova which is easy to transport. We had two recitals in the same day to accommodate my 30+ students and all their families. It was a sunny and joyous day!

3. Spark Studio. My husband, Mark, saw an empty basement in his friend Bryn’s office and decided it had potential. He made it into a studio space complete with custom artwork, lighting, and furniture from Facebook marketplace. He began hosting small concerts and gatherings to connect with new and old friends who are musicians. Through this experience Mark has realized his gift of “placemaking”


2. Back to School. After a long stretch of distance learning and online piano teaching, our kids all got to go back to school in person. Even though we are still in masks and not able to enter the buildings as parents or meet the teachers in person, it is still quite thrilling to be back after the year we had. Ellie got to go to college at Mount Holyoke on the East Coast in August which was both a high and low as I grieved and celebrated seeing my oldest enter adulthood. Ellie flew out on their own and and my sister in law helped with the move-in. We all went out to visit over Thanksgiving and were able to see the campus (or at least the outside of the buildings)

Here’s Ellie at Mount Holyoke showing off a theater festival they were a part of.

1. Punta Cana. My obvious top High for 2021 was our 20th anniversary trip to Punta Cana, Dominican Republic in January. It was the trip dreams are made of. Mark and I stayed at an all inclusive resort and spent a whole week lounging by the pool, on the beach, eating, drinking, and being together. It was AMAZING.

LOWS

Nobody likes to share lows but they are a very real part of life. This year 2 lows come to mind immediately.

1. I had a hysterectomy for uterine prolapse in May and spent a full 6 weeks recovering at home. I am happy to have it behind me.

2. This year was especially challenging for my 2 oldest young adult children as they dealt with physical and mental health challenges. It was hard for me to see them both struggling and not knowing how I could help.

Why Reflect? Thinking back on the year brings into focus what we care about. It helps us embrace a full range of emotions from joy to grief to frustration to hope. I hope you will take time to think about your highs and lows and share them with me or others in your life. Happy New Year!

Posted by Tagged with art, creativity, writing Posted in Uncategorized

Your Creative Coming Out

I’ve been on the look out lately for people around me who are extremely creative, but don’t recognize or acknowledge their gifts. These people love art and are attracted to artists, but don’t fully realize their potential. They are meant to be a part of a creative tribe and find joy in calling themselves artists, but have been telling themselves a different story because of fear of failure or insecurity. They often excuse their gifts by saying “it’s just something I do for fun” or “I’m not as good as most” or “I could never ask for money for this” or “I would do more, but I just don’t have the time”

I’m thinking about the stay at home mom who makes her kids’ sandwiches into shapes and paints original murals on their bedroom walls. I’m thinking of the neighbor who spends his evenings and weekends on woodworking projects after coming home from his day job. Im remembering the engineer who is writing a novel and the neighbor who is learning everything there is to know about quilting and loving it. How about the retiree who plays clarinet in the city band or the woman who dreams of going on outdoor adventures and writing about it?


These everyday people may not ever be recognized as “artists” by the masses. We tend to put people into categories based on how they make their living. Those we call artists are those who get paid for it.

Another category of people that I am discovering are those who have had a creative practice earlier in life, but have quit. I have lost count of the number of parents of my piano students who have told me they used to enjoy playing the piano, but don’t play anymore. I’ve also heard people tell me they went to college for art or journalism, but have set their work aside since having kids or starting their career. I’ve heard stories of people who “used to travel and go on adventures” and others who “used to write, or paint, or sculpt”.

I’m on the look out for hiding or sleeping artists because I once was one. I was so consumed with taking care of others that I didn’t make time to discover what I liked and what I was good at. Since going through The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron and being intentional about living a more creative life, I have started to come alive. I now consider myself a writer. I also have begun to see piano teaching not just as my vocation, but as a creative outlet. I have begun looking for new ways to connect with students using off the bench activities, games, and improvisation.

Part of waking up to this inner artist is being around other artists and seeking out people who will encourage your artistic pursuits. Another helpful practice is naming what you are proud of about yourself and things you want to work on and sharing these with others who will keep you accountable. We are born to live in community and relationship, and sometimes going it alone can cause us to quit or slowly drift away from creating.

Starting and stopping are normal and nothing to be ashamed of. Why not pick up that thing you’ve been thinking about for awhile? Why not join a creative group or start your own? Why not start calling yourself an artist? You just might already be one.

Everyone has a story to tell. I want to find the stories of the artists living in secret and challenge their coming out. The world needs to see and hear about their unique creations – but most importantly – they need to create. It may be the difference for them between having a Midlife Crisis or becoming a Midlife Creative.


Posted by Tagged with childhood memories, family, parenting Posted in Uncategorized

My Dad

My Dad woke up before the sun (4:30am sometimes). He read his Bible, wrote in his notebook, made his eggs or oatmeal, and did his paper route. .


Dad had already had a full morning before the rest of the family rolled out of bed. There were 7 of us kids. My youngest brother was born when I was 17, so there was 2-3 years between each of us.


My Dad was a teacher. Even though he is retired now, he still teaches us. That is who he is. He taught at Holy Redeemer Catholic School for 12 years. I liked how he always spoke respectfully about the nuns and the school even though he wasn’t Catholic. It helped me realize how important it is to respect and learn from many faith traditions.

He left that job to help a group of parents start a non-denominational Christian School. It was a big project; starting a school from nothing. It began with a handful of students grades 1-4 and then a grade was added each year. I was a part of the first 4th grade class. It was a one room school house of sorts at the beginning. There were multiple grades sharing the same teacher. He taught there for the rest of his career. The school had very humble beginnings. Dad was one of the people who made a lot of sacrifices to keep it going.


One thing that stands out in my mind is how Dad stayed after school to help kids who needed extra help. It was always the same kids. I’m sure it required a lot of patience, but Dad never seemed frustrated. He whistled a lot and had a strong faith that sustained him.


Dad’s specialty was science and I always knew he was in awe of nature. I remember him listening to a certain cassette tape while we washed dishes after supper. It was a man explaining how small humans are in relation to the galaxies in the universe. He loved that tape.

We would often go hiking at Camden State Park and Dad would a stop and point out different plants, trees, and mushrooms along the path. He also loved showing us how to classify leaves each fall.

My Dad valued my mom and always put her first. They were opposites in many ways, but a good match.
When I was young, my parents did foster care for adults with disabilities. Then, for a season, Grandma Shirley moved in with them and then my Uncle Gary. They cared for many people in need. More than I even know about.


I am so happy to have been born an Oglesby.
Thanks Dad for all the sacrifices you have made, both known and unknown. I love you.





Posted by Tagged with art, creativity, Play, rest Posted in Uncategorized

PLAY

I have been thinking a lot about the word PLAY. Spend a day with a small child and they will remind you how delightful playing can be. Kids love building things and creating colorful worlds with their imagination. They are always on the move – dancing, bouncing, flipping, and jumping. They make a lot of noise, strange sounds, and funny faces. I’ve observed kids confidently share their stories and observations without any fear of rejection or criticism.

Here are 4 things I’ve observed while being around children. These words spell P L A Y.

PRETEND – Kids enjoy making up stories and imaginary worlds in their heads.

LAUGH – Kids laugh at everything. They think the littlest things are hilarious.

ASK – Kids ask a lot of questions. Questions are normal and expected.

YELL – Kids yell and cry a lot. They tell you what they are feeling and they don’t care whether it’s a good time or not.

As adults, we stop speaking up because we don’t want to be a bother. We stuff our feelings and stay quiet to keep the peace. We stop pretending, laughing, and asking questions.

What are some ways we can continue to “play” as adults? Here is a list of ideas my 7 year old helped me make.

Ride a scooter or snow mobile
Dye your hair
Play with bubbles.
Color or draw in a sketch book.
Fly a kite
Make homemade jewelry
Do a DIY craft
Play at a park.
Get some new picture books at the library
Have a spa day.
Make a fun music playlist
Go rock climbing
Play volleyball outside.
Invite someone to your house to play together

Whatever you decide that “Playing” means for you, I hope you will intentionally work it into your life. I’d love to hear your ideas.




Posted by Tagged with hobbies, rest, Selfcare Posted in Uncategorized

Plant Lady?

I’ve never paid much attention to plants. Lots of people own house plants. Some more than others. I always just saw these small green things as a luxury that I could pass by. When I’d walk into Trader Joe’s and see the plants, I would admire them, but never consider buying one because I was usually mentally adding up the cost of groceries and would rather eat than spend the money on something to look at.

Then one day I bought a plant and realized, “gosh, I really get a lot of joy out of being around this tiny living thing.”

I told my friend Melinda, “I have this one flowering plant in front of my house and I just sit and look at it every morning as I drink my coffee, and it makes me so happy”.

She said “Wow. If one plant makes you that happy, just imagine if you had a whole bunch of them how happy you would be”.

I start noticing plants everywhere I turned. Last winter, I bought a couple plants at IKEA and started watering them. I was so shocked that they stayed alive more than a month. One of them even started growing like crazy.

What is happening? These plants are staying alive! The one that surprised me the most was this one.

I got it as a gift from my daughter’s friend, Jose, last spring. It died for a week and then it came back to life and it’s been flowering ever since. I brought it inside and it is still going strong 6 months later. It’s like the little plant that never quits. It has died and come back to life multiple times. This little pink beauty reminds me that we cannot predict the future. So much is out of our hands, but we believe the best for people, and sometimes they surprise us.

My favorite houseplant right now is this one.

It started very small when I got it last winter. It has grown so much, and I love it. I am so easily impressed since I never expected these small living things to stay alive.

Here are a few other plants I’ve enjoyed watering that are no longer with us. (I guess they are not all meant to have a long life).

Do you love plants? Give me your best tips. I think I’m a plant lady on the verge of conversion!

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20 years of marriage

I talk about my kids a lot. What I don’t talk about as much is my marriage. This does not mean my husband is not important to me. On the contrary, Mark Haugen means the world to me. He is, hands down, the most influential person in my life.

Let me explain.
Mark is a big thinker, a big personality, and a carrier of big ideas. When I met him, I had zero vision for anything I hadn’t seen before. Nevertheless, I was attracted to his energy, positivity, and big vision. Something in me said, “I want some of that.”
I was his opposite. Quiet, cautious, and the ultimate people pleaser. My motto was “we live in a perfectly good boat, why rock it?” Mark was exactly what I didn’t know I needed.

Our wedding reception was my first taste of what life would be like as the wife of an event planner and DJ. After all, who names their wedding reception “Uproar” and has T-Shirts made with a logo?

Here are some examples of the types of adventures Mark pulled me into in our early days.
– A spontaneous road trip from MN to Texas to see a concert.
– Flying a group of drummers from across the U.S. to Minneapolis to do an all night drum and dance event on leap day.
– Hosting dozens of youth retreats, picnics, concerts, and events.
– Bringing a techno/dance group from Sweden to the U.S. for a New Years Eve youth lock-in at Discovery Middle School in Alexandria.
– Traveling with family to the Czech Republic to serve at Freak Fest and serve local churches there.
– Setting up a pop-up art gallery, complete with Skychairs in a St Paul skyway.


– Creating a studio during Covid in a basement on Grand Avenue where he recorded a podcast and hosted musicians for micro-concerts.

Being married to a visionary has its challenges. There are many things we disagree on, but we have plenty in common too and I do love how our relationship is a great picture of how opposites attract.

My husband is a great companion who stretches me to move outside my comfort zone. I know he would say the same of me. I keep him grounded and teach him about empathy. I teach him the importance of daily tasks and bring a sense of calm to his crazy.
We have both changed a lot since we got married, but at our core, we still love people over things, and want what we do for work to be what we love. We are also both artists who believe we should never stop creating and dreaming.

Have you grown stronger through being around someone who is your opposite? Have you seen the power of walking beside someone who challenges you to see things differently? It doesn’t necessarily need to be in marriage. Learning to walk in love beside people with unique personalities that are different than your own is one of the hardest, and potentially most rewarding parts of being alive.





Posted by Tagged with family, parenting Posted in Uncategorized

How My Kids Changed Me

“Learn to love the kid you have, not the kid you thought you would have.”

When I was pregnant with my first child, I had my idea of how it would go. I imagined the birth and the early years. I always pictured my life with kids. It was a dream of mine. I thought being a mom would be the easiest thing in the world.

My kids would be sweet and quiet and thoughtful. They would enjoy reading, music, and participating in church activities. As teenagers, they would teach preschool Sunday school and go on mission trips to third world countries. They would love going to the library and ask me daily to read aloud to them. My kids would never raise their voices or speak unkindly. They would eat everything on their plates and always say thank you. They would never struggle with depression or anxiety. They would share with me everything on their minds and would most definitely never tell a lie.

I now see how clueless I was about parenting.
Here’s how I see it now, 19 years in.


Being a parent is seemingly endless days of taking care of another tiny human like nothing else matters. These days and sleepless nights turn into months and years. The cute babies turn into toddlers with tantrums and fevers and strange illnesses you never knew existed. When the diaper stage ends, you throw a celebration and breathe a collective sigh.

Early elementary school means finally getting a break (unless you homeschool) and re-assessing your priorities. You get a little bit of your life back and start sleeping through the night. These are the gravy years. There is the occasional case of head lice or stomach flu or a trip to the ER in the middle of the night, but overall it’s a great time for posting every moment with your adorable child on Facebook and Instagram.

School can be exhausting for some kids and if your kid is bullied, you feel it too. Picky eaters are a real thing (God, why?!) I never imagined I would give birth to a picky eater. If your child is neuro-divergent, you can become overwhelmed when you realize your kid isn’t like their peers. If your kid is __________ (fill in your own blank), you realize that the real marathon of being a supportive cheerleader for your child is just beginning.

Middle school and highschool bring questions like “What about cell phones and social media?” “What about dating and sex?” “What about friends and parties, curfews, jobs, driving?” You feel like you are always worried and wondering if you are doing things right.

As the years go by, you begin to get a glimpse of who your child is becoming. Their strengths and talents emerge. You have some proud moments where you see all the years of investment begin to bear fruit. There are also days when you say “What the hell?!” You find yourself swearing a lot more than usual. And also praying a lot more than usual.

Here is what I know. Not all are meant to have kids. I appreciate those who have chosen not to have kids or those who are unable to have kids just as much as those who do.

This post is mostly to say to those who are early in the kid game, be careful to keep an open mind and let your kids become who they are meant to be, not who you expect them to be. I now realize that if my kids would have become who I expected they would be, I would have never had the opportunity to grow and change into who I am becoming. My kids have helped make me stronger, wiser, and better. They have helped broaden my perspective and given me a greater empathy for people who are different than me. They have kept me curious, humble, and dependent on God and others.

Thanks kids! This momma is forever grateful for each of you being YOU!




Posted by Tagged with piano, Teaching Posted in Uncategorized

Piano Teacher for Life

I have been teaching piano lessons for pretty much my whole life. I went to a small private school, and as a high school student, I made a poster to distribute asking if anyone wanted piano lessons. I had a handful of families respond. I think I charged $5 a lesson. Here is an old photo at my very first student recital. As you can see, classroom management has never been my gift. Luckily, weekly lessons are one on one, and that is where I do my better work.

My desire to teach comes mostly from having great teachers who were incredible role models. Here were my childhood teachers, Lucille Suelflow and Helen Wambeke, my musical cheerleaders.

This photo was taken at my Senior Recital.

Following highschool, I went to college at University of MN Morris where I majored in Elementary Education and minored in music. During college, I taught students in the campus practice rooms and then after college, I had a teaching space in the side room off of the town laundromat. Super weird, but at the time, I thought it was great. I had snack vending machines for breaks and could do laundry between lessons. Some of my favorite students were the adults wish special needs.

Most of the students in this pictures are now adults with their own kids.

We moved to Minneapolis in 2006 and I answered an add in the Star Tribune for a piano teacher at a studio called All 12 Notes. I started in a little teeny tiny practice room with 2 students and expanded to about 25 students over the next few years. I loved working in a shared space with other teachers. Unfortunately, that studio closed. I wanted to keep my students, so I started traveling to their houses each week for lessons. It was stressful at first keeping to a schedule, timing things right to get from Minneapolis to St Paul, especially during snow on bad weather days. In 2012 we moved to St Paul and then the driving became much smoother.

I have the rare opportunity of spending 30 minutes a week one on one with the same student for sometimes 5-10 years of their life. Going to their homes, I meet their parents, grandparents, neighbors, siblings, and pets. I get a glimpse into their lives and routines. I often observe families going through life transitions as well as just the daily grind of homework, meal prep, sports, and extra curricular activities. I get to see the slow and steady growth in both the student’s musical ability as well as their personal growth in other areas.

I love the challenge of teaching to the individual needs of each student. It’s exciting to figure out what makes a student light up and what types of sounds they are drawn to. I have to discover how they learn best and what motivates them. One young student this week told me “I’ve always dreamed of playing Bach” and another student only wants to play songs from Star Wars. I’ve been teaching piano for over 20 years and I’m still learning new things.
I love that I get to be a caring, interested adult in the life of my students.

Today I overheard my two youngest kids as we were driving in the car. They were talking to each other about their favorite teachers. My youngest said, “I really liked my 1st grade teacher best because I knew she cared about me.” That made me smile. That resonated with my teacher heart. Letting kids know that an adult in their life other than their parent truly cares for them and is cheering them on – that is priceless.