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A 23 year old Lie that I Chose to Believe

I’m going to tell you about a little lie that has been playing on repeat in my head for 23 years. Today, I finally recognized it for what it was and said, “I don’t believe it!”

I went to college for Elementary Education and as part of the program, I had to do a number of practice teaching assignments in different schools. My first assignment was in a 3rd grade classroom. I don’t remember much about what I taught or even what school it was, but what I do remember is the negative review I received from the cooperating teacher. It was a written review that was given to my professor. The review said I didn’t have good classroom management, couldn’t handle the class on my own, and could not be trusted with my own classroom. I immediately questioned this review (I mean, come on, it was my very first time in charge of a classroom. I had no training and no help. Who is supposed to be helping who here?)

Needless to say, I never ended up applying for teaching jobs or having my own classroom. I decided to teach one-on-one piano lessons because someone told me I was good at it and it seemed more manageable than a classroom of 25-30 kids.

What I never realized until today was the POWER OF THAT ONE NEGATIVE REVIEW. I walked away from teaching groups of kids ever since. Something I didn’t pay attention to over the years was that I really enjoyed organizing groups in my everyday “mom life”. I would gather groups of kids in a park to play with a parachute or play games. I also loved planning birthday parties and making up scavenger hunts for holidays. Group activities gave me a chance to use my creativity and adapt to changes on the fly.

Fast forward to today, I did a big thing. I taught my first GROUP piano class! It was so much fun, I couldn’t stop smiling. Why did I believe the lie for this long that I couldn’t teach groups?! Do you find it surprising that a negative word by a supervisor during a formative time in my life affected my entire career path? It is honestly kind of shocking that words of someone in authority could hold so much power.

Do you remember a time when a negative report or evaluation stuck with you and made you believe something about yourself that wasn’t true? Maybe you are someone in authority, a teacher, or even a parent who has spoken negative messages to the impressionable young people in your life? How can you be more careful with your words and be quick to apologize when you realize you may have been too negative or heavy-handed in your feedback?

I am pretty embarrassed it has taken me 23 years to realize that I like teaching groups and might even be good at it. What are you realizing about yourself? It’s never too late to try something new. The only failure is an unwillingness to give it a try.

Here are some photos from my group piano performance class today.

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Moving into a new Neighborhood

John 1:14 says “The Word became flesh and dwelt among us.” In the message translation it says “The Word became flesh and moved into the neighborhood.”

We just moved into the Summit Hill neighborhood of St Paul. This is one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in the city. Many of the homes are valued at over a million dollars. We live in a carriage house behind a mansion. Back in the early 1900’s, carriage houses were used for servants and to keep the horses. Our carriage house literally looks like a barn from the outside. It is about the same size as our old house, but all on one level and with two large bedrooms instead of four smaller ones. Our three girls all share a bedroom.

This week, Mark and I attended a gathering of Christians from many walks of life who are looking to be good neighbors in the Twin Cities. This group was called a neighborhood collective. We met at a noisy food hall called Malcolm Yards in Minneapolis and had a very transformative conversation about what it means to truly inhabit your neighborhood. I came away asking myself, “What do I have to offer my new neighborhood on Summit Avenue?”

Because the houses are so much larger than in our old neighborhood and further from the street, I’ve felt a bit disconnected and haven’t had the chance to talk to any of the residents.
In West 7th, we knew who lived in the houses on our block and carried on daily conversations with people out on walks. Since moving to Summit, I have felt isolated and lonely.


Today Ivy begged to have a lemonade stand and I said Yes. After just a few minutes out front, we started attracting customers. What is it that makes people stop and buy a glass of artificially flavored sugar water from a kid? It’s like a magic spell that draws in anyone and everyone.

Because Summit is a popular walking area as well as a busy street, we got lots of customers. Many of the people who stopped were neighbors. They were so friendly and willing to stop and get to know us. It was kind of amazing how easy it was.
One elderly man proudly rattled off the names of everyone who lived on the block on both sides. Then he apologized for talking too much and I joked that I would know who to ask if I needed the inside scoop on the neighborhood. A teacher a few houses down was walking with her dog and apologized about not having any money along to buy lemonade. “I’ll come back,” she said. And sure enough she did. A family who attends the Catholic School down the street where my girls will go next year stopped by and introduced themselves. Another neighbor and his son from across the street came over and chatted awhile. The whole time I kept marveling at how normal it felt. I was the one making it weird by thinking I didn’t fit in the neighborhood or wasn’t fancy or rich enough to relate. These were just people. Normal people. The stereotypes I had invented in my head were not altogether real.

As a family who is struggling to make ends meet, it feels weird to be surrounded by wealth. Some days I ask myself, “why are we here?” But then, like today, God whispers in my ear: “Just wait. Watch me work. I have some really good things coming for you.”
And I say, “Ok, God. May your will be done. Make me an instrument of your peace.”