I cannot change the things about them that drive me crazy.
I cannot change how they dress, the choices they make, or what they eat.
I cannot change how they overwater the grass, how they wash the dishes, or the things they are picky about that I see as ridiculous.
I cannot change their anxious or controlling nature, their tendency to repeat themselves, how they drive, their persona on social media, their bedtime routine, their sleep habits, or hygiene routines.
I cannot change what News network they watch, who they vote for, or what they spend their money on.
If I know I cannot change them….any of them….then why do I try? Why do I seek to manipulate and control by making side comments, bargaining, and complaining? Why do I let other people frustrate me and derail my plans and affect my mood?
Why not just let go?
Open my hands and heart, and let people stay who they are….them. Maybe my way isn’t the best way? Maybe my way isn’t the only way? Maybe having two sides, or three, or four ways of thinking about things isn’t bad?
Maybe I could even change MY WAY of thinking about things?
In a little over one week we will be moving out of our house of 10 years. How can I sum up a decade of memories in a few short paragraphs?
Here’s a fuzzy photo from our move in day on September 1st, 10 years ago. Finding this house to rent was nothing short of miraculous We knew the moment we walked in the door that this was what we had been waiting for. It was after a summer of the kids and I living in Marshall with my parents while Mark worked to make enough money for us to move to St Paul. Fast forward 10 years and so much has changed.
We had a 4th child who is now 8. – Ivy!
We got to see our oldest two graduate from highschool at St Paul Conservatory for Performing Artists.
After several job changes, Mark re-branded his business as Mark Haugen DJs and is finding great success in officiating and DJing weddings and other events. I, Anna, have continued to teach piano lessons all these years. It is something I love and will probably never stop doing. We are fairly certain we will be coming back to the Twin Cities at the end of our trip, but it may not be to the same neighborhood, so we are saying goodbye as if we may not come back to West 7th.
Here are a few things I will miss
The Parks and Trails we have grown to know like the back of our hand West 7th Community Center, Adams, Palace, Edgecumbe, Mattocks, Wabun, Crosby Farms, Hidden Falls, and Victoria Park. I walk the neighborhood streets everyday and go on a longer nature walk at least 1-2 times a week.
School
We will miss the schools my kids have grown to love and the teachers that invest in them. We will miss the playdates, and parkdates, and birthday parties that come with staying in one place.
Neighbors, neighbors, neighbors!
We have gotten to know many neighbors through the years. I never knew a city could feel so much like a small town in how friendly everyone is. Art House (a renovated church that hosts concerts and plays and is the home to Humble Walk Church) is just down the street. Businesses like Tavial, Mojo monkey, Colossal Cafe, and Cadenza music are regular weekly stops.
We have hosted a few neighborhood bonfires which gave us a reputation as ”the bonfire people.” Halloween and National Night Out as well as the neighborhood square dance at Art House are anticipated gatherings.
Hard days
No, not everyday was smooth sailing. There was the year of the mice, the head lice, the traumatic dental visits for teeth extractions and root canals. There were seasons of anxiety and depression, online school and teaching during Covid, two surgeries, marriage challenges, questions over faith, politics, and wrestling with the changing times.
This was the burning of our couch which finally did get rid of our mice.
A lot can change in 10 years. My biggest change personally has been learning to love myself. I have always put my family and church family’s needs before my own. Because of this, I was living with a lot of bitterness. My need to please people began to come in the way of my ability to enjoy life. I was constantly worrying about whether I was DOING enough instead of asking myself who I wanted to BE. It has been a long and slow process of unlearning some beliefs that were hindering instead of helping me. I am now in a much more joyful place with boundaries set that help me ask myself some good “why” questions before saying yes to things. I know the world won’t fall apart if I step away for a few days or weeks. Speaking of stepping away, we are about to take a giant leap with this roadtrip around the U.S. We will be homeschooling and staying with a combination of family, friends, and airbnbs from November-May. Our travels will take us across the Southern coast from Georgia to Florida to Texas and then West to California. It is going to be a great season for our little family of 4, now that Elliot and Tabby are at colleges on the East Coast.
This quote from one of my favorite authors seems fitting for the start of our next season. It is scary to take a leap like this, but those who have done similar crazy things have all said things like “Its the best decision we have ever made” or ”you won’t regret it”
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Here are a few more of my favorite photos from our Juno Ave house in the form of a photo slideshow. Enjoy!
