2021 Family Update

Here are my top 5 highs and 2 lows from 2021. It really was hard to narrow it down.


HIGHS

5. Camping at Pattison State Park. Those of you who know me well, know that I love being outdoors. We have slowly started to dip our toes into the world of camping – very slowly. We found this gem of a state park just over the border in Wisconsin thanks to our friends @volkmanadventures on Instagram. This park had two beautiful waterfalls, a swimming beach, and was just a short drive to Duluth.

Tabby invited a friend who was a great addition to the camping crew.

4. Outdoor Piano Recital. As a piano teacher, I missed gathering with my students during 2020 and was thrilled when one of my piano families agreed to host an outdoor spring recital in their huge front yard. Mark set up speakers and I used my Clavinova which is easy to transport. We had two recitals in the same day to accommodate my 30+ students and all their families. It was a sunny and joyous day!

3. Spark Studio. My husband, Mark, saw an empty basement in his friend Bryn’s office and decided it had potential. He made it into a studio space complete with custom artwork, lighting, and furniture from Facebook marketplace. He began hosting small concerts and gatherings to connect with new and old friends who are musicians. Through this experience Mark has realized his gift of “placemaking”


2. Back to School. After a long stretch of distance learning and online piano teaching, our kids all got to go back to school in person. Even though we are still in masks and not able to enter the buildings as parents or meet the teachers in person, it is still quite thrilling to be back after the year we had. Ellie got to go to college at Mount Holyoke on the East Coast in August which was both a high and low as I grieved and celebrated seeing my oldest enter adulthood. Ellie flew out on their own and and my sister in law helped with the move-in. We all went out to visit over Thanksgiving and were able to see the campus (or at least the outside of the buildings)

Here’s Ellie at Mount Holyoke showing off a theater festival they were a part of.

1. Punta Cana. My obvious top High for 2021 was our 20th anniversary trip to Punta Cana, Dominican Republic in January. It was the trip dreams are made of. Mark and I stayed at an all inclusive resort and spent a whole week lounging by the pool, on the beach, eating, drinking, and being together. It was AMAZING.

LOWS

Nobody likes to share lows but they are a very real part of life. This year 2 lows come to mind immediately.

1. I had a hysterectomy for uterine prolapse in May and spent a full 6 weeks recovering at home. I am happy to have it behind me.

2. This year was especially challenging for my 2 oldest young adult children as they dealt with physical and mental health challenges. It was hard for me to see them both struggling and not knowing how I could help.

Why Reflect? Thinking back on the year brings into focus what we care about. It helps us embrace a full range of emotions from joy to grief to frustration to hope. I hope you will take time to think about your highs and lows and share them with me or others in your life. Happy New Year!

Your Creative Coming Out

I’ve been on the look out lately for people around me who are extremely creative, but don’t recognize or acknowledge their gifts. These people love art and are attracted to artists, but don’t fully realize their potential. They are meant to be a part of a creative tribe and find joy in calling themselves artists, but have been telling themselves a different story because of fear of failure or insecurity. They often excuse their gifts by saying “it’s just something I do for fun” or “I’m not as good as most” or “I could never ask for money for this” or “I would do more, but I just don’t have the time”

I’m thinking about the stay at home mom who makes her kids’ sandwiches into shapes and paints original murals on their bedroom walls. I’m thinking of the neighbor who spends his evenings and weekends on woodworking projects after coming home from his day job. Im remembering the engineer who is writing a novel and the neighbor who is learning everything there is to know about quilting and loving it. How about the retiree who plays clarinet in the city band or the woman who dreams of going on outdoor adventures and writing about it?


These everyday people may not ever be recognized as “artists” by the masses. We tend to put people into categories based on how they make their living. Those we call artists are those who get paid for it.

Another category of people that I am discovering are those who have had a creative practice earlier in life, but have quit. I have lost count of the number of parents of my piano students who have told me they used to enjoy playing the piano, but don’t play anymore. I’ve also heard people tell me they went to college for art or journalism, but have set their work aside since having kids or starting their career. I’ve heard stories of people who “used to travel and go on adventures” and others who “used to write, or paint, or sculpt”.

I’m on the look out for hiding or sleeping artists because I once was one. I was so consumed with taking care of others that I didn’t make time to discover what I liked and what I was good at. Since going through The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron and being intentional about living a more creative life, I have started to come alive. I now consider myself a writer. I also have begun to see piano teaching not just as my vocation, but as a creative outlet. I have begun looking for new ways to connect with students using off the bench activities, games, and improvisation.

Part of waking up to this inner artist is being around other artists and seeking out people who will encourage your artistic pursuits. Another helpful practice is naming what you are proud of about yourself and things you want to work on and sharing these with others who will keep you accountable. We are born to live in community and relationship, and sometimes going it alone can cause us to quit or slowly drift away from creating.

Starting and stopping are normal and nothing to be ashamed of. Why not pick up that thing you’ve been thinking about for awhile? Why not join a creative group or start your own? Why not start calling yourself an artist? You just might already be one.

Everyone has a story to tell. I want to find the stories of the artists living in secret and challenge their coming out. The world needs to see and hear about their unique creations – but most importantly – they need to create. It may be the difference for them between having a Midlife Crisis or becoming a Midlife Creative.


My Dad

My Dad woke up before the sun (4:30am sometimes). He read his Bible, wrote in his notebook, made his eggs or oatmeal, and did his paper route. .


Dad had already had a full morning before the rest of the family rolled out of bed. There were 7 of us kids. My youngest brother was born when I was 17, so there was 2-3 years between each of us.


My Dad was a teacher. Even though he is retired now, he still teaches us. That is who he is. He taught at Holy Redeemer Catholic School for 12 years. I liked how he always spoke respectfully about the nuns and the school even though he wasn’t Catholic. It helped me realize how important it is to respect and learn from many faith traditions.

He left that job to help a group of parents start a non-denominational Christian School. It was a big project; starting a school from nothing. It began with a handful of students grades 1-4 and then a grade was added each year. I was a part of the first 4th grade class. It was a one room school house of sorts at the beginning. There were multiple grades sharing the same teacher. He taught there for the rest of his career. The school had very humble beginnings. Dad was one of the people who made a lot of sacrifices to keep it going.


One thing that stands out in my mind is how Dad stayed after school to help kids who needed extra help. It was always the same kids. I’m sure it required a lot of patience, but Dad never seemed frustrated. He whistled a lot and had a strong faith that sustained him.


Dad’s specialty was science and I always knew he was in awe of nature. I remember him listening to a certain cassette tape while we washed dishes after supper. It was a man explaining how small humans are in relation to the galaxies in the universe. He loved that tape.

We would often go hiking at Camden State Park and Dad would a stop and point out different plants, trees, and mushrooms along the path. He also loved showing us how to classify leaves each fall.

My Dad valued my mom and always put her first. They were opposites in many ways, but a good match.
When I was young, my parents did foster care for adults with disabilities. Then, for a season, Grandma Shirley moved in with them and then my Uncle Gary. They cared for many people in need. More than I even know about.


I am so happy to have been born an Oglesby.
Thanks Dad for all the sacrifices you have made, both known and unknown. I love you.