20 years of marriage
I talk about my kids a lot. What I don’t talk about as much is my marriage. This does not mean my husband is not important to me. On the contrary, Mark Haugen means the world to me. He is, hands down, the most influential person in my life.
Let me explain.
Mark is a big thinker, a big personality, and a carrier of big ideas. When I met him, I had zero vision for anything I hadn’t seen before. Nevertheless, I was attracted to his energy, positivity, and big vision. Something in me said, “I want some of that.”
I was his opposite. Quiet, cautious, and the ultimate people pleaser. My motto was “we live in a perfectly good boat, why rock it?” Mark was exactly what I didn’t know I needed.
Our wedding reception was my first taste of what life would be like as the wife of an event planner and DJ. After all, who names their wedding reception “Uproar” and has T-Shirts made with a logo?
Here are some examples of the types of adventures Mark pulled me into in our early days.
– A spontaneous road trip from MN to Texas to see a concert.
– Flying a group of drummers from across the U.S. to Minneapolis to do an all night drum and dance event on leap day.
– Hosting dozens of youth retreats, picnics, concerts, and events.
– Bringing a techno/dance group from Sweden to the U.S. for a New Years Eve youth lock-in at Discovery Middle School in Alexandria.
– Traveling with family to the Czech Republic to serve at Freak Fest and serve local churches there.
– Setting up a pop-up art gallery, complete with Skychairs in a St Paul skyway.
– Creating a studio during Covid in a basement on Grand Avenue where he recorded a podcast and hosted musicians for micro-concerts.
Being married to a visionary has its challenges. There are many things we disagree on, but we have plenty in common too and I do love how our relationship is a great picture of how opposites attract.
My husband is a great companion who stretches me to move outside my comfort zone. I know he would say the same of me. I keep him grounded and teach him about empathy. I teach him the importance of daily tasks and bring a sense of calm to his crazy.
We have both changed a lot since we got married, but at our core, we still love people over things, and want what we do for work to be what we love. We are also both artists who believe we should never stop creating and dreaming.
Have you grown stronger through being around someone who is your opposite? Have you seen the power of walking beside someone who challenges you to see things differently? It doesn’t necessarily need to be in marriage. Learning to walk in love beside people with unique personalities that are different than your own is one of the hardest, and potentially most rewarding parts of being alive.