Midlife Creative

I decided to write a little bit about what our days have been like for the last 3 months.

I remember the first day I became aware of covid-19. Two events I was planning to attend were cancelled on March 13th and 14th. By Monday the 16th, schools and businesses were closed. The grocery store shelves were mostly empty as people stocked up on essentials, canned goods, and toilet paper.

I went to Global Arts Plus to collect the kids’ iPads to begin distance learning. Everyone wore masks and gloves and an eery feeling filled the empty hallways. I brought the kids with me, hoping to see their teachers, but only saw the unfamiliar faces of volunteers calmly communicating log-in instructions on typed papers with barcodes.

As reality set in, there were mixed emotions. The first few weeks seemed like a novelty for my introverted self. We did lots of baking, puzzles, crafts, and sent video messages to family members. We went on nature hikes to new places, enjoyed dinners with all of us around the table, and felt a sense of relief at all the new found “free time”

We began to realize that all our plans for Ellie’s graduation, summer, and possibly college in the fall would have to change.

Every day began to feel the same. When the kids finally surrendered to sleep, I stayed up well past midnight writing or watching Netflix in my “finally quiet time”.

The weeks turned into months and we began to wonder if life would ever return back to normal. Social distancing became acceptable and wearing masks was the new normal. I wasn’t sure what to make of it all. I didn’t have anyone close to me personally affected by covid-19, but I knew that could change overnight just as many things were changing day to day.

I am still not sure what to think of it all. Here are the things I know.

Relationships matter – the people in my life that mattered to me before covid-19 (or whatever trial life throws my way) matter to me just as much now.

Seasons change – just as winter turns to spring and summer to fall, this time in history will change as well.

Healthy things grow – if we lean into the good things we know to be true, we will become stronger through whatever storms we encounter.

Take care, friends. Let me know how quarantine has been for you.

This is for the moms who need a little pep talk today. Sending hugs and cheering you on!

It’s amazing to me the number of mothers who question almost daily whether they are good moms. I’m not talking about moms that are neglecting their kids or phoning it in. I’m talking about rockstar moms who are giving their all every freakin’ day.

The lack of confidence we moms have in our ability to parent, keep a home, and juggle life’s demands is unbelievably high. The overthinking, worry, and comparison that goes on is crazy. Moms are their own worst critics.

Here are some ways I have learned to combat the negative self-talk.

#1. Call to the top of your mind one thing you are proud of right now.

I’m proud that my child made their own breakfast, showed empathy, learned to ride a bike, slept through the night, said they were sorry, made me smile. I’m proud that I returned that phone call, had that hard talk, forgave myself, said no.

#2. Don’t compare your weaknesses to another person’s strengths.

Since the beginning of time, moms have been told they need to do it all. In reality, that would be foolish. You will do certain things well and then there will be other things that your friends do better. I am really good at patience, listening, friendships, and teaching. I am not good at house cleaning, decorating, fashion, hair, makeup, or big business. I am also not good at Pinterest or Twitter or exercise or healthy meals or taking supplements or essential oils or team sports or shopping at malls. We would all feel better if we knew and appreciated our strengths and became a cheering squad for others who are different than us.

#3. Acknowledge how hard parenting is.

Give yourself credit for all the days, months and years you’ve been showing up for your kids. You’ve been there through all the milestones, the sicknesses, the dentist visits, the potty training, the head lice, the bad dreams, the questions, the sleepless nights, the relationship struggles, the disappointments, the unexpected transitions, the birthday parties, the firsts, the lasts….all of it!

You ARE a good mom. I’m here to speak this aloud whether you believe it or not. I hope you understand that you are more than enough. In fact, whether your child acknowledges it or not, does not change the truth. You have poured your life out and the one who made you and made you uniquely YOU is pleased.

Genesis 1:31. “God saw everything He has made and it was very good”…..that includes you, Mom!